Warning

The materials in course one that include Handbook for Followers of Jesus, by author Winkie Pratney, are not to be copied inside the United States or Canada due to copyright restrictions. These materials are for use only in those countries where this book is not distributed.

Used by permission for ISOB students Handbook for followers of Jesus Winkie Pratney author

Bethany House Publishers Copyright 1977 not authorized for resale

a handbook for FOLLOWERS OF JESUS

Chapters 21-30

(Short Form with various chapters omitted)

Used by permission for ISOB students in Africa Handbook for followers of Jesus Winkie Pratney author Bethany House Publishers Copyright 1977 not authorized for resale

Chapter 21

How to Begin Sharing Jesus

"Go into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature" (Mark 16:15).

It is not hard to talk about someone you love, neither is it hard to speak about something You are excited about and have been thinking a lot about. It is like this in sharing Jesus. if you live in His love, it will come out in witness. I have never known a man or woman who once walked the streets in sin and who was delivered by the power of the living God, who needed to be told they must witness. They want to. And why not? If Jesus is the only way; if the one way is only His way, then we have something that burns in our hearts that we must share with a lost world.

If you do not feel like sharing Jesus, there is something wrong. Go to God. Get your heart broken and clean before Him. Find out how He feels about people. Learn to rest in His love until You grow strong in His strength. When the fire burns inside so strongly that you must speak, you are ready to begin sharing Jesus,

There are many witnessing Plans around today. Some have been used of God to bring many people to the Lord. Thank God for the plans and outlines that Christian people have learned and were able to use in witnessing. But plans have limits, Many young People are on the streets in revolt against things like plans and programs. The whole hip culture began to reject a machine way of living and thinking. Some plans just plainly don't work on the streets. Some kids turn off fast when you share a plan. And they have a right to. We are not called to give out plans. We are called to simply share Jesus out of our hearts and out of the Word of God.

Marvelous things are done in People's hearts when we learn to get our "lines" from the Holy Spirit on the spot for each meeting with a man or woman without God. Share a plan with street people and they may think your plan is after them. Share the Lord Jesus with them, and you know what the street people will think! Another thing to think about is this: if too many people try to use the same plan on one man, his conviction may turn into anger. He may think he is being used by some group on a trip. And that is not the way to meet needs in Christ.

Spend more time on getting yourself ready than in learning plans. God doesn't care about the plan half as much as He cares about the man. Men are God's methods; men are God's plans. E. M. Bounds, a famous man of prayer, said, "The church is looking for better methods; God is looking for better men."

Let us suppose that you see a man in a park. You look and see that he is fishing. When you get up close you see he is fishing in a bucket. There are no fish in it. You ask him kindly, "Have you caught anything?"

"No," he says, "but I think I know what is the matter."

(You think to yourself, "I know what is tire matter, too!

"The reason why I haven't caught anything yet," he says, "is that I'm using the wrong hook and wrong bait. When I change my bait and hook, I'll probably have more success."

As you walk away, you know two things about this man.

One is that there is something wrong with him.

The other is that he is fishing in the wrong place.

These are the problems with most people who do not know how to fish for soul There is either something wrong with them, or they are fishing in the wrong place. Get cleaned up! Then you will have something to say and the courage to say it. Then go out where the people are. Don't expect sinners to come to you. If you read your Bible, you will know that men and women are running from God, not looking for Him. Expect them to avoid you. But love them like God loves them. And go where they are. If you live by a beach and that is where they are, go there. If your mission field is on the streets, go to the streets.

But use your head. Don't go up to a person who is busy doing something else and try to start talking to him about Jesus. Ask God to lead you to kids who are doing nothing. Try to find the lonely ones, the ones that have time on their hands, the ones that you can make friends with and tell them what has happened to you. Go where people can listen.

Try railway stations, or bus stations. 'Try airline terminals. A lot of people have time on their hands, and you may get a chance to share with them there. If you have reading material about Jesus, they might be more ready to read it there than if you tried to give it to them on a street or in a supermarket or store.

Try parks and park benches. A lot of times people just sit around waiting there for something to happen. You be the happen-ing! Get there with a smile and the love of God.

School is a huge mission field. If you are still in school, you have one of the biggest lot of kids to speak to that you will ever be with over a long time.

You can go house-to-house. You can go to big sports meetings where a lot of people will be sitting, waiting for the game or race to start. Any place where there are a lot of people is a good place to go. Ask God to help you to be wise. God will show you the ones that are hungry for something real. Ask Him to direct you by His Spirit. You will feel drawn to different people as the Holy Spirit gives you a nudge in their direction. Learn to hear His voice. And swallow your fear! All of us get scared at times about what people will think of us or say to us when we speak to them about Jesus. It is natural to be afraid; it is supernatural to go ahead anyway, and speak whatever God lays on your heart because you care for the one you are speaking to.

Prisons and hospitals may give you permission to visit and share. Universities and schools empty out hundreds of young people that you can talk with and give tracts to. Take along Jesus literature everywhere. Send it through the mail. Decorate your envelopes with messages for the postman. The best way to learn to share Jesus is just to begin.

Suddenly, before my inward, opened vision,

Millions of faces crowd upwards to view-

Sad eyes that said, "For us there is no provision;

Give us your Savior too;

Give us your cup of consolation;

See-to our outstretched hands this never passed,

Yet ours is the desire of every nation and-

Oh, God-we die so fast. "

Chapter 24

Making Friends with Christ's Friends

One of the things that the Pharisees didn't like about Jesus was that He had too many friends. No one ever came to the Lot with a need and was not made to feel welcome. He never shut People out of His life. Every disciple at Jesus must be a friend to all. If we really love God, we love the One who so loved t world-and that means everyone. Perhaps you have had trouble making friends before. You may be shy or not feel that people will like you. And it is true that some people in the world will never like YOU. if you live for Jesus, there will be selfish people runaways from God's love that will not want to know you too well in case you get through to them about their souls. You will race bitter people who have been hurt and do riot trust anyone. Disciple of Jesus don't expect to be popular with everyone. But the Lot Jesus had many friends. He was a supremely friendly, understanding person. You could come to Him and always be sure of a welcome.

The world always has a funny idea of disciples of Jesus. They think of us in terms of being too far out in religion, not tolerant of others' faiths, not able to enjoy a little fun in life. The world always has a miserable picture of Christians. But remember, that is not why the Pharisees criticized Jesus. They said He was the friend of publicans and sinners. Sinners liked Him too much for their liking. Jesus had tire knack of mixing with people and building them up even while He was putting down their wrong. He mad friends because He loved people.

How can you be more friendly'? If you have been shy and have found it hard to make friends, it is time that you take stock of yourself Here are filings to help you:

1. Get property clean before God. If you are holding onto fear, guilt, anger or worry, you will give off bad vibes wherever you 90. If you have been hurt, forgive. If you have some things to get right, do it. You must be clean or you will always be afraid of meeting people in case they spot your secret sins. Remember, the disciple of Jesus is to be totally clear. He is to be as trans-parent as a mountain stream. God has given you the promises and power to be free. Go to Him first and get your heart clean.

This is the first step in making friends. Do it now.

2. Learn to forget yourself. Shyness is only a form of pride.

One of the big reasons why people don't make friends is that they

try too hard. They do crazy things and say too much to be real. People get scared off when you try too hard to be friendly. You can never be friendly when you are thinking all the time, "I wonder what she thinks of what I just said? I wonder if he thinks I am friendly?" Relax. Be natural. Be yourself under God. You don't have to try to be anyone else than who you are. But be a loving who-you-are."

You can do two things to conquer Shyness and make friends. First, think of some time when you really felt at home, relaxed and at ease with someone. Carry it in your heart. Remember how you felt. Think about how easy it was to talk, to say things that people listened to and liked. And when you have to meet someone new, bring back to your mind that time of relaxed happiness. Practice living in the feelings and thoughts you had that day, and you will find your tenseness draining away; you will be more relaxed and loosen up better with new people.

Another way to stop thinking of yourself when you are trying to make new friends is to change your way of thinking about people. Instead of thinking what you can get from the friendship of this person, think of how you can give to them. Think instead of what God is doing in their life; how you can be of help to them; what you can do to serve them in Jesus. God has been dealing in some way with this person you are meeting; you are there to help Him in His work. Don't worry about what they might be thinking of you; concentrate on their needs. This is the way to project a real spirit of friendship.

Another way to make friends, especially with those who are hard to like, is to make a list of the good things you can find out about them. Try to write down the thing you would find attractive or pleasing or praiseworthy in them if you were their friend, even if they have all kinds of problems and faults. Then pray for them. Bring these difficult people to God in prayer. Ask God to bless them, to help them. Thank Him for the things you find are nice about them. You will be surprised at how much you can find if you open your heart. Then ask Jesus to help them in His love to solve their problems. Tell Him that you are ready to be of service to that person.

Some more important things to help you make friends. Say hello first, even if they don't say it to you first. Go out of your way to do it. Learn their names and remember them. To help you do this, say it back to them when you first meet them and they tell you. Use it right away (a couple of times at least) when you lint talk to them, Repeating it helps you to remember it. People like it when you use their first names. Write it down somewhere, after you have met them, to remember it even better. People almost always like you if you remember their names. When God calls someone, He always calls him by his name. If you want to be God's friend as well as people's friend, do the same thing.

Do what the book of Proverbs counsels in showing yourself friendly (Prov. 18:24). Every disciple of Jesus most go out of his way to help others in studies, introductions, jobs needing doing. You can choose to be a friend. Think these thoughts: "If Jesus loves this man, I can love and care about him too. If I can help

him, I will offer to. God has left me here to serve, and this is

someone I can show His love to" (see Prov. 17:17).

3. Look out for the lonely and neglected. The world is filled

with people that others brush by without even looking at them. Make it your ministry to say a kind word to at least one new person each day, All around you are people who have no friends, with no one to care or even notice them. Some have been hurt, and they have in return hurt others so much that they have become sour and bitter, driving away all their friends.

You be a light to their darkness. You speak kindly to them despite their rude ways. Some you brush past today may go down the road to suicide, death and hell by tonight. Will they say, "No man cared for my soul" (Pa. 142:4)? Be one of the first to meet newcomers to church, school or work. Don't just hang around in little cliques that you feel safe in. if you care for others, speak to them.

When you do talk to others, don't talk about yourself. Talk about them. Be really interested in them, but not nosy; give them the feeling that you enjoy being with them. Look them in the eyes and smile. Ask them about their problems, their needs, their work. Learn to be a good listener; learn to make people feet important when they are with you. Learn to build them up and make them feel worthwhile. Of all People, the disciple of Jesus knows that man is important. We know that people are not nothings. We know they are important and valuable because they are made in God's image, We can love them because God made us all, and we are related by His creation. This lonely man is made in our Father's image. This lonely girl is made to be a tiny, finite copy of our great Creator's love and wisdom and value. I can love them and make them feel important because they are important to God, and therefore they are important to me

Of course, your closest friends will be Christ's friends. Although we are free to find out what most people love and want to do, what are the problems they have and what God is doing in their lives, our closest friends will be only a small circle of people. They will be ones we really enjoy sharing with, those we spend a great deal of time with. Close friends are people we can share our deepest feelings and hopes with, people with which we can really have fellowship. We feel more free to help them grow spir-itually by throwing in our efforts with them in some common task for God. We can expect them to lovingly show us if we are doing something wrong, and they expect us to do the same. We cannot have too many close friends there is not enough time to share everything with many in one lifetime. But this inner circle will be close to our hearts, and we must make sure they are Christ's friends,

The Lord Jesus gave us an interesting principle. He said, "If two of you shall agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by my Father who is in heaven" (Matt. 18:19). That phrase "two or three" that follows in Matthew 18:20 is important. Unity in prayer comes only by a close, common bond of understanding, affection and friendship. Jesus put His team of disciples together on that basis. Your closest friends should be people of similar liking and interests, people who think like you do in most situations. They should also be ones with a similar level of spiritual growth to Jesus. They should be ones with whom you can share new discoveries of the work and Word of God in your lives.

Sam Shoemaker has pointed out that true unity is not just two people who agree in tire same things, but more like a pyramid where two people form one line, God forms the third corner of the base, and the common task or ministry they have together forms the peak. When we walk together with God, under His control, doing a common task He has given to us, we will really begin to know the joys of divine friendship. With friends that are Christ's friends, we can know God's love among or, every day.

Because you prayed for me

I found the strength I needed for the task,

The courage I lacked before, the faith to see

Beyond my narrow world; new joy for pain

I found, and zeal

To press forward, strong of heart again-

Because you prayed.

Because you prayed today

I found it was not hard to face the dawn,

Take up again the work I laid away

But yesterday, and shoulder it and dare

To smile a bit,

And find a blessing I'd not dreamed was there Because you prayed.

Because you prayed for me

Tonight, I seemed to reach and find your hand

Close by, as I bad known that it would be,

And somehow toil and turmoil must needs cease;

It was as though

God to our heart had whispered softly, "Peace-

Because you prayed.

-Ruth Margaret Gibbs

Chapter 25

Steps to Bring You Closer to God

"Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you" (James 4:8).

Every Jesus person sooner or later feels what Paul the Apostle felt when he said, "That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection" (Phil. 3:10). Disciples of Jesus of all ages have searched for ways that would help them learn more about the Lord Jesus and His love. Here are some of these ideas for you to use. Anything that brings before us spiritual light, anything that helps cast us on Him can be used as fuel to feed the flame of our love for Him.

1. Read the biographies of God's great men. Try to read at least one book a week, other than your Bible. John Wesley said to his early Methodists, "If you don't read, you'll never preach," There are so many exciting things that early men and women of God learned. You will find them in old books about their lives. Think over the lessons they learned. Time has had a chance to prove their work. What were their secrets? What mistakes did they make, and how did God help them? What things could you copy from their devotion? What problems can you avoid by learning from their failures? When did God first start to use them? What prices did they pay for their ministries? How did they affect their world for Jesus?

Try especially to find books on the giants of evangelism and revival. To help you choose, ask yourself, "Were they wise to win souls?" Christians who were had the wisdom of heaven. Learn from the words of such men because they learned from God. 'These men were successful in drawing people to Jesus. They were good at winning others to God's way. We could call this their vision, and the crowds they drew heavenwards tell us something about the time they personally spent with God. And the people who came to Jesus under their ministries remained true to God. They went on with Him. They were fruit that remained (see John 15:16). They don't give up easily if their faith is real and solid. This is the mark of a man's ministry done in God's knowledge. The closer he gets to God by experience, the more he can draw people to Christ; the more he knows and teaches the truth of God's Word, the better his results will last.

Subscribe to all the good Christian magazines you can afford. Pick those with real outreach and love in their writings. Grab every bit of free Christian material you can lay your hands on. Be open to new ideas, but let your reading be careful and thoughtful. Let it jog your thoughts into new lines for Christ. Every disciple of Jesus should read as much as possible besides his Bible to stay ahead of what is happening in our world, so he will know where a happening needs God to deal with it.

2. Take notes on messages from real servants of the Lord, Every sermon or message you hear, every rap time when disciples share something "heavy" should be written down. Always make it a habit to carry paper, or a little notebook, and pen into a meeting for Jesus. Learn to listen and write at the same time. Take careful, full notes. Get down the words and thoughts that help you most and lift you closest to the Lord. File these away carefully and neatly. Use them to help stir your heart.

The Holy Spirit may recall to your heart as you read the same ways you felt when you first heard that message. This will carry your heart quickly into God's love in times when you feel dry.

The best way to keep notes is to invest in a little loose-leaf notebook. You can add or replace its pages as your knowledge of God's Word and ways grows. You can also type up your notes and make the folder very neat and compact. As your notes grow, you can split them up into other folders.

One other thing you may like to do is to keep a daily devotional diary. It is simply a little book in which you write the things you learned from life with God each day. Put down in it each experience that taught you something about Jesus, or verse that spoke to your heart in need, or times of trial and blessing. Saints did this long ago, and copies of their diaries still bless us today. Read those of George Mueller, John Wesley, David Brainerd and Jim Elliot.

3. Spend as much time as possible with men and women who are used of God. Don't be a pest, but if they will let you just listen or be with them you will learn much. Jesus first called His disciples to "be with him" (Mark 3:14). They may help you a lot in the practice of Christian living. Don't bring all your problems to them when you can get answers from God or from the Bible. But they may have learned things about walking with God that have never been written or preached about. Ask God to help you meet those people. Ask Him to open doors to meet the men and women He is using, so you can learn from them.

4. Guard your tongue. The mark of the man or woman of God is the control they put on their tongue. Don't talk too much. Talking without thinking, the loose use of words, and lightness of speech all signal the sin of foolishness. The Lord Jesus never wasted a word. We are told we will be weighed for every idle word we say. Only God can tame the tongue. They are the expressions of what we are. If you want to be a man or woman of God who is known for your walk with Jesus, don't waste words (see Eccles. 5:1-7; Prov. 13:3; James 1:26; Matt. 5:37; 12:36-37).

5. Spend much time alone with God. Go to a "desert" Bible school simply a place of silence and solitude. Moses, Elijah and Paul all learned great lessons there. Jesus spent much time alone with His Father in the desert. Too many words, too much mixing purposelessly with people can take the edge off your spiritual axe. There is nothing more beautiful to the soul than to go off (totally somewhere late in the afternoon, evening or early morning to spend an hour or two with God. Disciples of Jesus must not be so busy doing things that they don't have time just to be. Love is sweetened by stillness. If you don't have time to spend alone with God, make time.

Chapter 26

How to Deal with Trial. Trouble and Temptation

"You have never been tempted to sin in any different way than other people. God is faithful. He will not allow you to be tempted more than you can take. But when you are tempted, He will make a way for you to keep from falling into sin" (I Car. 10:13).

Why are Christians tempted? As long as we are able to do right, we are also able to do wrong. No one can be good unless he is also able to do wrong if he wants to. Think of a talking doll. Pull the string in her back and she says, "Hello." Pull it again and she says, "My name is Kathy." Pull it again and she says, "I love you." Now God could have made us like chatty Kathy dolls. He could have made us so that when He would pull a string we would say to Him, "I love you." But would it really be love?

To make us able to freely obey Him, we have to be free also to disobey Him. God is looking for people He can trust. We talk about trusting Him, but can He trust us? God cannot have people in His new world who want to give into sin. This life is our testing time. If we really love Him, we will not give in to sin. If tests come, we must learn to lean on God and be strong in Him. Tests prove what is in our hearts. Tests show us how much we love God. "A man who does not give up when tests come is happy. After the test is over, he will receive the prize of life. God has promised this to those who love Him."

Temptation is not sin. To be tempted is to have an idea or feeling put into your mind that You know you must not give in to. You can have very strong temptation, refuse it and stay as holy as Jesus was. "When you are tempted to do wrong, do riot say, 'God is tempting me.' God cannot be tempted. He will never tempt anyone. A man is tempted to do wrong when he lets himself be led by what his bad thoughts tell him to do. When he does what his bad thoughts tell him to do, he sins" (James l:13,14).

Temptation comes from three main sources: emulation cart come from worldly People around us. Old friends can come to try to pull us back to our old way of life. The Bible calls this the "world." Satan said to Jesus, "I will give you all this power and greatness. It has been given to me. If you worship me it will be yours" (Luke 4:6, 7).

2. Temptation can also come /from our old memories, of habits we once had when we lived in sin. God cannot just wipe out our memories, because they are the only record we have of who we are. He has a better way to deal with our past. When old thoughts or feelings come back, we are to use these as a signal to turn again to Jesus. We can find in Him all we need. If we are lonely, we can ask Him to show us himself as the eat friend who sticks closer than a brother. If we have done wrong, we must know Him as our great high priest. When we are confused, we can see Him as our leader and guide. When we feel tired and dry, He can show us himself as the living water. In this way, He can give us beautiful times with himself in our pain and trial. These times with Him will make a curtain of new and happy thoughts over our old ones.

They will make it hard for us to dig back into the old clay of our bad past.

Becoming a child of God is like learning to drive on the other side of the road. When you come to Jesus, you really do "change sides." No real Jesus person stays on the same side of the road he used to live on. He now lives for Jesus. A change has happened. But for a while he must be careful. He has brought to his new life some memories of tire way he used to live. He cannot afford to do things by habit. He must be careful until he has learned the new ways to live.

3. Finally, temptation can come from the devil He waits until we are either up or down before he drops a thought into our mind.

When you are tempted, do not think about what you used to do. If you dig back into your mind and think too long on what you did wrong before, you may do it again. This will only make bad habits stronger. This is not the way to deal with temptation. The way to beat sin is to say a firm "no" and turn your mind right then to Jesus. Sin can be beaten only by faith in Jesus. We can win in the world only by faith in Jesus.

Chapter 27

First Make Friends with Yourself

"No man ever hates his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church" (Eph. 5:29).

When I was small, my mother used to leave my little sister to watch the shop for her while she had a cup of tea. My little sister ruined a lot of my mother's business because whenever some stout matron with a lot of money would come in, my sister would call out in a voice you could hear for a block, "Mother, there's a big fat old lady in her here to see you!"

That's the trouble with little kids: they say what they think and feel. They have not learned to pretend as well as grown-ups have. They are real and they are honest. It is not until they get older and more sophisticated that they learn how to play "let's pretend" all the time, even when it is serious and not playtime anymore. Perhaps that is one reason why the Lord Jesus said, "Except you. .. become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 18:3). One of the most beautiful

thin about the gospel is that it has power to make us see like

little children again,

One trouble with grown-ups today is that they have lost the eyes of a child, People have forgotten what it means to wonder. That is sad, because when you lose your wonder you also lose your ability to dream. I saw a painting once in San Francisco. It had two little children, a boy and a girl, standing in a field. Everything in the picture was browns and greys; the grass, the sky, the earth itself seemed dead. Even the sun was a dull white disc in the sky. There were no clouds, no trees, no birds or animals. The only blue in the whole picture was the blue in the children's eyes. Their eyes were big, like those sad pictures of street waits that make you want to cry. But the frightening thing about the picture was this: the children had their eyes open wide; they saw everything around them, but their eyes were like two chips of blue glass. There was nothing inside them. They were just two dead dolls in a dead world. And when the children lose their dreams, it is the end of the world.

Have you ever wished you could he a child again, a child that could dream and wonder? It is time you made friends with yourself If the Lord Jesus has truly changed your life, you know what it means to be "born again." That means you can start all over again with a brand-new life from God. All the rotten past is over. All that belonged to your former life is dead and buried. And one thing God can do in your new life is to give you back your sense of awe and wonder. No disciple of Jesus can spend an hour in the presence of the living God and not begin to feel like a small child. Becoming a true disciple can strip you of all the old sophistication and phoniness. He can make you honest, open, frank and clear as a snow stream. This is the first step in making friends with yourself. bring your old life to God with all its rottenness and smallness. Let Him finish it for good. Learn what it means to be "born again"- and to become as a little child.

Becoming like a child means going back to the time before you learned to pretend. And that is what it means to be humble before God-being willing to be known and accepted for what you really are. Anything else will take you into a world of unreality and phony living. And if you are knowingly living a lie, you cannot be friends with yourself. If you are not friends with yourself, you will also find it hard to make friends with others. If you have not been honest with God about who you really are in His sight, you will find yourself guilty of these things:

1. Crowd fear. "No one loves me; no one likes me; I'm always left out." Are you shy? Do you find it hard to make friends? This points out one thing: you think too much about yourself. You have not been to Jesus to get yourself clean enough and honest enough to enjoy living with yourself. And if you don't like yourself, you surely won't like showing that self to others.

2. Concern for looks. Do you catch yourself saying all the time, "I just look rotten all the time; I never have the right clothes; my hair always looks a mess; my face looks terrible"? Too much concern for looks is another sign of a self-centered heart. Your problem is not outside but inside. When you learn to be clean before God, your face will begin to change to match your heart. And you will start to forget what people might be thinking of you because you will be thinking about their needs instead.

3. "Creepy" Christianity. "No one really understands my walk with God; God has called me to do a work that no other Christian will recognize; I have a special ministry that no one else has ever had or will have." Words like this reveal a spiritual trip that is not founded on a relaxed, happy fellowship with God. There are some people who seem to try too hard to be disciples of Jesus. No one could ever say they are not keen; they go to every meeting around. They may shout louder than anyone else, jump higher and pray longer in public than anybody else. They try to be spiritual superstars. You can spot them quickly; they always point out what is wrong with everything and everyone else around. God has apparently called them to a ministry of condemnation.

But there is something wrong somewhere, and all free disciples of Jesus will sense it. Their zeal doesn't quite ring true. The fruit of the Spirit does not show at all in their lives. They give off bad vibes when they are around. They seem to live on the edge of spiritual breakdown. And the cause of much "creepy" Christianity is the same as the others: a failure to love and accept ourselves and ministries as they are before the Lord, with their weaknesses and failures.

"Creepy" Christians have not accepted their own personal limits, the things they plainly can't do or hp., They have, not learned to be satisfied in Jesus' love alone. Their trip is just another form of pride, and it will not get any better until they are really humbled before the Lord and honestly own up to the fact that God was not in 99.9% of all the things they said He told them to do.

4. A critical spirit. Do you always seem to be saying, "Nothing I do turns out right! How come she always does things so well, but mine turn out so lousy? What right does he have to get all the lucky breaks?" Are you always getting into arguments with others? Are people around you openly or secretly getting criticized? Do you feel like your own life is just one big war?

'These things are all signs of the person who has not made friends with himself. Now, I don't know why you are this way. Maybe it is because you always wanted to be like someone else you liked a lot but you never could be. Perhaps you had some scar or deformity either by an accident or from birth that has made you look, in your eyes, far worse and uglier than others around you. Maybe deep in your heart of hearts you are mad at God because you think He is to blame for the way you are. Any one of these things could give you a reason to hate yourself. But none of them are good reasons. All of them are simply forms of pride. And this breaks every command of the Bible.

When you are proud like this, it doesn't mean you think you are better than others; it can mean you treat yourself as superior to others- Pride is not just thinking too much of yourself; it means also thinking too little of yourself, despising your own special life as one of God's creations. Pride means thinking too much about yourself and not enough about others. That breaks the first of the Ten Commandments; You make yourself a god by always worrying and thinking about yourself and letting your whole life revolve around yourself You are not content with what you have and are; you break God's law that says, "You shall not covet." You put up a false front to others, pretending you are a different person than what you really are. God's law says, "You shall not bear false witness." Your funny dress or actions take peoples' eyes off God and put them on you. That broke the law that says, "You shall not steal" because you stole the center of attention that ought to belong to the Lord Jesus. And holding hate in your heart about someone else, including yourself, is like order in the Bible. What a terrible thing to be proud! A man who has refused to accept himself for the way he is before God breaks every basic law of the Bible.

Have you accepted yourself for the way you are under God? Will you give up your ambition to be loved, accepted, wanted or even liked by anyone in the world except by the Lord Jesus? Give Him this right, no matter how much you want it. You can be sure of His love. You don't have to prove anything to Him. And He is hurt when you keep pretending that you are someone else that you know you will never be.

If you are like this, it is time you learned to make friends with yourself. It is a Bible command: "You shall love ... your neighbor as you love yourself." Now, have you obeyed this command? If you really love Jesus, learn to love your own special life, and treasure it as a gift from God despite its limitations. Stop running from reality. Face yourself. You are what you are. What is sinful can be repented of, cleansed and forgiven. What is just you can be accepted and lived with happily. You don't have to be anyone else. You only have to be yourself; Jesus loves you the way you are.

Chapter 28

Stay Out of the "In" Crowd

"Arid these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness; and have a root in themselves, and so endure but for a time; afterward, when affliction or persecution arises for the word's sake, immediately they are offended"(Mark 4:16, 17).

Some people today say they belong to Jesus as long as it is popular to belong to Jesus. But take a close look at their lives and you will see they are still living for themselves. Their one rule of life is the current crazes of the "in" crowd. If some kind of religious trip is in, they want to be in it too. if religion is not in, however, you will soon see them change their faith, how can you recognize a man in the "in" crowd? If he says he loves God but really only loves his own reputation with religious people, how can you tell? Try these tests,:

1. They measure themselves among themselves (2 Car. 10:12). The man in the "in" crowd sets his standards by the pulse of the world around him. His "good" is the good opinion of others. He asks himself, "Am I doing what others expect me to do? Am I doing enough to get by without anyone telling me off!" Church "in" crowd people aim to keep up a respectable religious front. Instead of seriously asking themselves what the Lord and His Word requires, they simply try to copy the current Christian crowd. If one-way signs are in, they learn to give one-way signs; if buttons, bumper stickers or bagpipes are in for a church crowd, they will use them too! They aim to do that which is respectable, not that which is right.

2. They never bother to raise the standards of right "In" crowd people always dislike someone who tries to stir up the church to higher levels of consecration to God. they have set their spiritual levels by the crowd's minimum standard, and anyone who aims to bring it higher is in for criticism and trouble. People pleasers stand against a man or woman who is riot popular with the crowd,

even if he or she is right; then they turn about face if the same crowd begins to honor them. There is only one exception to this: when they have said so much against him that they cannot change without disgrace. And then they will be silent, until they get another chance to criticize.

3. They divide God's laws up into the ones they want to do and the ones they won't. Any sin that people are against m a crowd they also are "against." If hard drugs are out, they give up theirs too. But if no one is saying anything about pot or cigarettes or petting, they go ahead with it. When someone by habit disobeys any known law of God, the obedience he seems to have to His other laws is not from a true love of God; its stems from selfish motives.

This means that the "in" crowd man is apt to sin away from home. Many a professing Christian who is outwardly very religious and respectable with his own church crowd drops his mask at a distance and begins to live the way he really wants to live. If he is fairly sure no one will recognize him elsewhere, he will sin. If he is a religious man at church, away from church he is ready to "let his horns grow." If you are a true disciple of Jesus you will not lead a double life. The things that make you happy in church are the same things that make you happy a thousand miles from it. The man in the "in" crowd often lives in secret sin. Here is a test by which you can know your own stand. If you allow any sin in secret when you know how to get out of it, you have sold out to the "in" crowd.

1 4. They try to make friends on both sides of the line. It has always been so for centuries that people could make a good show of religion without ever being labeled holy. The standards are still so low that in many places people can get by having a religious stand without being written off as reprobates or laughed at as Christian fanatics. They are fashionable Christians. Their life-style is fashionable and popular, and they do what the world says in their dress and ways of living. No matter what God says, they are careful not to offend any of His enemies. If they are ever faced with a choice of offending a crowd or Christ, they will offend Jesus.

5. They care more about what people think than what God thinks. Their one "unforgivable" sin is to fail in the eyes of man, or to be rejected by the crowd. They have never been with Jesus to Calvary. They are ashamed to stick up for God because they do not love Him. How could they? If a man really loved a girl, would he be ashamed to defend her if she were put down? If a woman's children were being abused, would she let it go unchecked? Not if she loved them. The people pleaser does not really love God; he loves himself. When among Jesus people he may be very bold for the truth and may make a good show of his faith. But put him among Christ's enemies where it would be a reproach to be called a Christian, put him to trial, and he will sell Christ out like Judas, or deny Him before His enemies.

But for their love of reputation, how many people would break into open rejection of God? All that holds them back from sinning is public opinion, fear of disgrace, and wanting to get credit for being thought good. If you are good because you love God and honor His authority and value whether the crowd frowns or smiles on it, you have true faith. If you do it for other reasons, you have your reward. You do it to gain credit in the eyes of men, and you will gain it. But if you expect honor from God, you will surely be disappointed.

Will you agree to take the Bible as your rule and the Lord Jesus as your pattern, doing what is right in all cases whatever men may say or think? If you are not willing to take this kind of stand, you are a stranger to the grace of God. A people pleaser is by no means His child. If you will not purpose to do what is right whatever the crowd says, you love the praise of men more than the praise of God.

Friend, I have been honest with you. If I did not really love you or care, I would not have said these things. I have told it like it is. if you mean to be a Christian you must give yourself wholly up to Christ. You cannot float along to heaven on the waves of public sentiment. I will not pretend you can when God says you cannot. "Wherefore come out from among them, and be separate. .. and I will receive you, and will be a Father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty" (2 Car. 6:17,18).

Will you do it? Who is on the Lord's side? Who is willing to say, "We will not follow a multitude to do evil, but are determined to do the will of God in all things, no matter what the world says or thinks about us" (see John 12:24-26)? "Search the scriptures; for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they that testify of me.... I receive not honor from men.... How can you believe, who receive the honor one of another, and seek not the honor that comes from God only?" (John 5:39, 41, 44).

So he died for his faith. That's fine

More than most of us do.

But say, can you add to that line That he lived for it too?

In his death he bore witness at last

As a martyr to the truth.

Did his life do the same in the past

From the days of his youth?

It is easy to die. Men have died

For a wish or a whim,

From bravado or passion or pride,

Was it harder for him?

But to live--every day to live out

All the truth that he dreamt,

While his friends met his conduct with doubt,

And the rest of the world with contempt-

Was it thus that he plodded ahead,

Never turning aside?

Then-we'll talk of the life that he led

Never mind how he died.

-Earnest H. Crosby

Chapter 29

What to Do About Bad Friends

"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him" (I John 2:16).

Perhaps for a long time you have run with a crowd of bad friends. If you have been in a gang, you know how dangerous it is to try to walk out. Here is a way to cut free from your old crowd. It is a costly and dangerous way, but it is the best way I know to leave without making them suspicious and angry at you.

1. Give all of your friends to Christ in prayer. Take them one by one, beginning at the one you like most, and give up your rights to have them like you anymore. You must make such a total surrender of your rights to their friendship that you will be able to go on with Jesus alone if necessary. Tell the Lord, "If You want me to lose every friend I now have, I will be content to know that You are my friend. I am willing to stand alone for You. Give me the courage to do what is right, no matter how much it will cost."

You have made full surrender of all your friendships when you are willing to go on alone with Jesus, even if no one you now know and love ever serves Him, and all of the ones you now call your Christian friends turn their backs on you and Him together. And that will hurt, but it must be done. Are you willing to stand alone? Jesus did for you. Even all His friends, the disciples, "forsook him and fled" at the hour of His greatest need. Will you follow in His steps? It will not be easy to do this. Some of the people you know now have been very close to you. But it must be done. Jesus said, "Whoever does not forsake all that he has ,cannot be my disciple"(Luke 14:33).

2. Go to your friends and apologize to the , Go to one at a time if possible. Tell them you are sorry for not being a real friend to them. If you have been religious but not really Christian, you will also have to apologize for being a religious hypocrite. Genuinely love your lost friends. Go will give you a real love for them that transcends anything that you had with them before. Show them by your attitude that you are not against them and that you are not putting them down personally. Then give a straight-from-tbe-sboulder testimony about what has happened between you and God. Be direct and honest. Pray a lot before you 90, and wait for the right time to see them so you won't blow it. Ask God to give you favor in their eyes. Your aim is to win their respect for what God has done in your life, and to convince them that what has happened is real and will make you a different person.

3. If there is something you can give them, like a book or tract that has helped you, give it to them. If there is a meeting where you know the gospel will be preached, invite them to it. Ask them if they want to go with you sometime to learn what happened to you. One of two things will happen: either they will want to come along, or they will say, "No, you go, but leave me out." It is important that you don't sound like you are putting them down in any way if they refuse. Just make the way clear for them to come, and then go. Tell them, "I've never been so happy in my life. f want to learn more about Jesus for you, so if you get interested, just let me know. I'd be happy to take you along with me." Then leave.

4@ If some of your friends do want to go with you, explain all that you can about what it means to be a child of God. Give them time to ask questions, to try to understand. Take them someplace where the gospel will be preached in their language on God's terms. Give them a chance to think it over and to give their lives to God.

If there is a clear rejection of Christ's claims, and they show Do further interest, you will have to take a stand on Christ's side. Say something like this: "I can understand how you feel, but you can see what Jesus has done in my life. He means more to me than anything else in the world. I can't hurt Him now by going back to my old ways. If you want to change your mind about Him, remember that I'll always be here to help you know Him."

5. Pray for and write to Your- friends. 'They may not answer at all, but keep it up. Don't preach in your letters; just share as a small part of your letter what Jesus is presently doing in your life. Be positive; don't condemn. Lift them up often before God in prayer, that He will sow the seeds of hunger for change in their lives. Be ready to help whenever you can, because when they really get into trouble, God may use you to meet their needs and lead them to Him.

6. If a non-Christian friend asks you to go out with him to some place that you know would not be right, thank him, but tell him you really wouldn't like to go there. Then suggest an alternative place or activity that you would be able to attend, where you can spend some more time with him, and wait for God to give another chance to talk to him about Christ.

Don't be afraid to be natural with your old friends; just love them with God's love, but don't compromise to keep their friendship.

If a non-Christian y asks a Christian girt out, she can thank him, tell him she appreciates his invitation, but that she is not able to accept it. If he asks her why not, she can tell him that she has given her life to Jesus and has decided that she will only go out with guys who love Jesus. She can say, "Since I've given my heart to Jesus, I'm going out only with guys who love Jesus. I don't know you well enough to know if that's true or not." If he says, "How will you know if I do or not unless you go out with me?" she can say, "I'd be happy to have you come to a Christian meeting with me and have you meet some of my friends." Then at the meeting the Christian guys can take the non-Christian guy under their wing and maybe bring him to the Lord.

If you have been living sexually with someone, you must break off with that person immediately, preferably by letter. Use the words, "I want you to please forgive me for not setting you a decent standard." Say good bye for keeps. Make sure the person understands by repeating it a couple of times. To make it final, tell the person not to contact you again, not ever, especially if you are a girl. The break must be total, or you will fall back into sin.

Here is part of one girl's letter: "I've known for some time that I should end our relationship, but my selfishness has caused me to hold on to you, and both of us have suffered. Please forgive me for any unhappiness I have caused you, and please understand that I must ask you never to see me again. You have your work and your own life to straighten out and I have been interfering with both. Please forgive me; don't even try to call me again. It is better that things are ended now before more pain and suffering is caused. This is best for both of us, and again, I beg you, don't try to contact me in any way, not ever. .. ."

If you have been going with a rotten boyfriend and have just become a Christian, you have a simple way to break off with him. Tell him, "I'm sorry, but I can't go with you anymore; I've just met someone who has totally changed my life, and I got married to Him!" (Since every disciple of Jesus is now in the "Bride of Christ," and since the Lord Jesus is called the "Bridegroom" of the church, you have a Bible right to say that!) Then if he asks who it is, give him a testimony and say good-bye. Whatever you do, make sure you really break off completely. It is hard sometimes for you as a girl, but you must do it, or you will only go deeper into sin and wind up even more hurt.

Chapter 30

Date Differently: Do It God's Way

Thousands upon thousands of couples are divorced every year. Over the last few years over three million people in the United States alone called it quits and broke up forever. In some places there are more divorces each week than marriages. Homes are falling apart. Mothers are giving up; husbands are walking out.

For every home that is split by divorce and separation, there are children who will learn what it means to be hurt and to hate. Each one of these kids will want to hit back some way at his world. Maybe that's why, during the time it takes you to read this section, hundreds of people will have been robbed, raped, bashed, beaten and murdered by children from homes like these. Maybe you can see why God is so concerned about marriage.

Some brilliant people have come up with an equally brilliant solution: If marriages are so messy, why not "can" the whole thing? Why not just throw them out? Why not just live together on a trial basis, and if it doesn't work out, split, with no ties, no responsibilities?

That makes about as much sense as putting a screen door on a submarine. There are other ideas about as smart as this, like outlawing jails because a lot of people like a life of crime, or banning bridges because people jump off them sometimes, or stop eating because some people are gluttons.

There's nothing wrong with marriage. But marriage, like a game, or like life, has rules. When rules are broken it is not really fun. It is the end of the game. For some it has also meant the end of life.

We have more books on sex than ever before. We have more information on how to make out, more data on how to be a sexy swinger. But we have left out God's laws, and are paying a tragic price for it! To hear some people talk, you would think God is against sex. But it was His idea; e invented it, and He knows how it ought to be run.

It is precious, and like all precious things it must not be used too often but treasured for special times. You must learn to use its power within God's controls and to preserve its beauty or you will again join the ranks of the lonely and the bitter and reap the harvest of a broken marriage, a broken he e, a broken life and a broken heart.

God made us different. He took Eve from Adam's side, and she has been near him ever since never far from his heart or side. The marvelous relationships possible between a man and his woman are tiny reflections of the happiness God planned for us. Human friendships are but a shadow of the friendship we can have with God, You should know the differences God has put in our personalities so that you can understand how to court in God's way.

Physical. Apart from fairly obvious sexual differences, God has made most men physically stronger than women. I know there are exceptions; I know all about the woman who weighs four hundred pounds, has a black belt in karate and can kill a moose with her breath! But usually God has made an stronger Physically so that he can protect his girl and take care of her,

It's true, of course, that for a time girls grow up faster than boys. Girls physically turn into women sooner than boys physically turn into men. When most boys are still playing marbles, running in gangs or flying kites, girls are falling desperately in love with their English teachers, this means a girl can have a woman's body but a little girl's mind. It can lead you girls to dating older guys. It can also lead to trouble unless you know what's happening and get ready for it. That's why some fathers freak out when they discover their little girl is going out with an older guy. Dads have been around. 'hey know what's happening. Listen to them sometimes. They may ground you because they care about you, or because they remember something of their own past with a great deal of fear and regret.

Mental. There are usually mental differences between men and women. It has nothing to do with intelligence. It does have to do with the ways God designed us to use any- intelligence.

Now this is important. These two basically different ways of looking at things make each sex superior to the other in the role God has given them. The girl is superior to the guy in her way of thinking when problems of life require an inspirational, unprogrammed, unstructured approach. She gives color, surprise, wonder, adventure. The guy is superior to the girl when a problem needs logic, fact, analysis, detail to solve it. He gives form, stability, structure to life.

If each one stays in his/her role, God will be able to bring the maximum blessing to their partnership. Right through the Bible, beginning at creation, God has set up a role for each sex: The man must lead; the girl must inspire. This is God's pattern. When we do what we were designed for, we will find maximum happiness in our friendships with each other, in our courtship, and in marriage.

Because the men are supposed to lead, here are some rules for growing hair on your chest:

1. Get smart. The Bible says, "In understanding be men" (1 Car. 14:20). If you are to be the IBM computer, "study to show yourself approved before God." A girl likes to have the man she depends on to be informed and to know how things work.

2. Get a sport. Develop your physical body so that you will be strong enough to take care of her and protect her. Pick something you enjoy, then really work at it. "Bodily exercise profits a little" (1 Tim. 4:8). Even if you look like the "before" picture on a Charles Atlas advertisement, do the best with what you have.

3. Be a gentle an. The Bible tell us to be courteous to one another, kindly affectionate; in love to serve one another (see Rom. 12:10). Watch your manners. Give her the respect due to a woman of God. Most girls do not mind being treated like a princess. If we are sons and daughters of the King of kings, you treat your girl like the princess she is.

4. Don't tell lies. "Speak the truth in love" (Eph. 4:15). Never

lead a girl on to think you care for her more than all others

if it is not true. Don't you dare indulge in some mild power trip

just to feel that some girl is under your spell even though she means nothing much to you. Girls get hurt easily. Don't forget it. No guy has the right to tell a girl, "I love you," unless he is ready to say in the next breath, "Will you marry me?" If you can't say the second sentence, don't say the first. Don't tell lies.

5. Be a man of God. If you have one epitaph on your tombstone, strive to make it this: "Here lies a man of God." Unless you know how to love God and serve Him wholly, you will never learn the tenderness, care and concern that makes a guy a worthwhile leader, a sweetheart and, one day, a husband. if you are going to lead, be a leader where it counts spiritually. Brother, hear me now. Nothing counts more than your Walk your personal, daily walk with Jesus. It will save you, and every girl you befriend, heartbreak, trouble and wasted, irreparable years.

Now you girls have been saying too many "amens." Here is your list for loving living:

1. If you are smart, don't show it off. No brother wants to feel like Charlie Brown. God doesn't want you to put on some dumb blonde, brunette or redhead acts; but, remember, he is supposed to be the leader, and your job is to inspire him (see Prov. 31:26).

2. Don't gab. Sister, here is a secret. If you want thin to talk about, ask him what he thinks. Learn what it means to build a man with admiration. You can do it by just asking a few questions and doing a lot of listening. Don't just listen to the words; listen to the man who is saying them. Smile a lot, admire greatly and say little. He will love you for it. Be simple and honest like a child. If you are serious about marriage, talk about your walk with God, ministries, children, a home, finances and parents. But don't gab (see Prov. 11: 22),

3. Be fragile. Let him be the strong man. Him Tarzan! You Jane! Have you ever seen a weedy little man call his two hundred pound wife "my little baby"? She learned the secret of being fragile to him. It is not just how you look; it is an attitude. Don't go around killing your own spiders, Let him do the strong man stunts. Things like this make a man feet like a man. Generate a dependence, a little-girl look. That's the kind of girl a man loves to be leader for (see I Pet. 3:3).

4. Dress and look like a woman. And that woman must be all girl and all lady. Stay away from the tough-as-nails look. God has given you one marvelous attraction. You are a woman and you are God's girl. Use those facts to the full. Don't dress cheaply or lewdly so that you look no better than a hooker. God is your Father, the Lord Jesus is your Brother. Dress like it. Be clean, be simple and be sensible.

5. Be a woman of God. There is nothing more beautiful and mind blowing to a man than a girl who is really in love with Jesus. There is no better source of beauty than living in the joy of perfect obedience to His will. Learn to be someone Jesus can be proud of. You will understand what God means when He says, "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Ps. 37:4).

Men, in any outings with a sister, take the lead. Decide before the Lord where to go. Commit such times to God in prayer.

Live so that you will lead the girl you meet closer to Jesus.

Girls, you are to live so close to God that by your very life you will draw your boyfriend closer to Christ. Inspire him in there. That is the Christian way to live in love.

Not merely in the words you say,

Not only in the deeds confessed,

But in the most unconscious way

Is Christ through you expressed,

Is it just a beautiful smile?

A heavenly light upon your brow?

Oh, no. I felt His presence

When you laughed, just now.

For meet's not the truth You taught, to you so dear, to me so dim;

But when you came to me

You brought a sense of Him.

And from your eyes He beckons me, And from your heart His love is shed

light of you

And see the Christ instead.

-Author unknown

Used by permission for ISOB students in Africa

Handbook for followers of Jesus

Winkie Pratney author

Bethany House Publishers Copyright 1977

not authorized for resale